i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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