I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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