I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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