I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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