you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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