also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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