I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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