return my video game
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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