Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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