My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You're earring is so big in my mouth
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
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Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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