I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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