New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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