I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Randomize