i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize