I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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