She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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