Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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