Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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