Someone shit on the floor
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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