Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize