she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize