sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
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I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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