I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize