why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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