There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize