Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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