did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
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there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
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Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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