id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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