Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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