discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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