its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize