I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
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I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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