He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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