I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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