You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
the condom got lost in my hair
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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