I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize