her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
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next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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