I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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