he told me I talked like a deaf person
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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