Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
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One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
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Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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