its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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