Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
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5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
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My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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