He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
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He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
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I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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