I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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