Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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