dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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