He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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