She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize