I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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