i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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